so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
