i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
