well you can't waste a boner
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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