Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
