The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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