were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
