the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
