If i come over, it means nothing
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
