fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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