I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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