Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
