I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize