Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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