That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
