so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
