Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
