and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My penis needs a shock collar
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
