I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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