Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
