I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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