remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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