Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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