worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we're so committed to being not committed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
