And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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