I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She told me I should be a condom model.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
