I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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