everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
