it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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