Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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