Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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