WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
