Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
