So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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