maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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