you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
