I feel like I'm in dance class right now
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
