i was born a porn star she said
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
