and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
