This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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