just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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