So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
