I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
