so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
