I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
