I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
