Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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