I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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