so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
