Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
