yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
