Are we in a gay sports bar?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
