he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
