Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize