I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm always down for nudity.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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