If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
