I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
