VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
