I think I just saw someone hide a body.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
