whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize